I am been undecided about writing this post. Not because I don't want to share, but because in all honesty, I haven't wanted to relive it in my mind. But nothing good has ever come from bottling things up, so here it goes...
Almost two weeks ago ( 13th march to be exact) my little Charlie had his first Febrile seizure. It was so unexpected that I'm still in a bit of shock. Charlie had been unwell with a sickness bug. It wasn't anything out the ordinary and it lasted about three days. On Sunday afternoon he seemed to have picked up and was back to his happy normal self, or so it seemed. Having been house bound for days and the sun shining, I thought a little trip to our local park for some fresh air would do us all the world of good. Charlie was kicking and screaming to get out of his pushchair so I let him have a play on the field and in the park. He seemed absolutely fine. I was holding his hand playing on some stepping blocks and said to Elise "just a few more minutes" and we would have to go. I went and sat down on the bench as Charlie walked over to where is big sister was. He started walking a bit funny, almost as if he had been spinning round and round and then tried to walk. He fell on his bottom and like always I said "oh dear get up". He was then struggling to get up and suddenly hunched forward staring blankly at the ground. I ran over shouting his name knowing something wasn't right.
I picked him up and to my shock and horror Charlie's eyes began rolling and he was as stiff as an iron rod. Clenching his little fists and convulsing in my arms, the reality hit me, my baby was having a seizure. What happened next felt like a panicked blur. My first instinct was to lay him on his side and I began screaming for help! I saw a lady run over to me and with that my trembling hands reached for my phone and I dialled 999. I will admit I had lost my cool. I was a hysterical, panic stricken mess. My poor Elise saw it all and was equally hysterical and frightened at what was happening to her little brother.
It felt like forever and finally he stopped convulsing. I remember watching his little fists unravel and his skin turn a horrible shade of purple. I thought I had lost him. I was shouting make him breathe make him breathe. There is nothing worse than seeing your child laying there, not breathing and unresponsive. in my head I kept repeating " please don't die please don't die" His breathing became very shallow and he drifted in to a deep sleep and began snoring. I have never been so grateful to hear the sound of my child breathing. A minute or so later he came round fully and started calling my name. I hugged him so tightly and Elise too and let out some tears, but I knew I had to stay strong for them both. Still a shaking mess we were taken in the ambulance. We were discharged from the hospital a few hours later and they declared it was a febrile seizure caused by a sudden rise in temperature and low potassium levels. Its highly unlikely he will ever have another but we feel we are more prepared should he have another one.
I know I shouldn't but I blame myself. I blame myself for taking him to the park that day. I thought the air would do him good. but I know it could and would of happened anywhere. I am so grateful too the lady who stopped to help. She kept me calm and I don't know what I would have done without her.
I had some experience of seizures. a friend growing up was epileptic and my brother had a couple of febrile seizures as a child, but nothing can prepare you for when it happens to your own child. I have made myself more aware and educated myself about the facts of Febrile Seizures which you can find on the NHS website.
Parents educated yourselves. I read all the online info about every illness and dieses my children could get but naively try to believe it wont ever happen to "my children". But the truth is it can and if we make ourselves aware of the dangers and symptoms and arm ourselves with the correct information, we can make a difference. Not to just help our own children but others too. I'm thankful this lady knew what to do. As much as I hope and pray I never have to go through this again, I hope now I have enough knowledge should I be the passer by and help out a fellow parent who is in the same situation I was.
Charlie is back to full health but my anxiety sadly hasn't disappeared. Its getting easier each day, but I find I'm still watching him like a hawk. The baby monitor and sensor pad have been turned back on but it helps me settle a little more at night. I hope this post has made people more aware about febrile seizures and to think about brushing up on those first aid skills. If your a parent reading this who has experienced this, I send my love. it truly is one of these most frightening things a parent can witness but thankfully they bounce back very quickly.
Thank you for reading and please share this post to raise awareness.
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