There aren't many mothers who haven't heard of "the unmumsy mum" book. If you haven't heard of her (Sarah turner) she is a blogger, now author of the hilarious blog and book "the unmumsy mum" why it isn't a parenting guide, it is without a doubt an essential book for all mothers, and mothers to be. It's one of the funniest books I have read and one that I felt I could have written myself. Motherhood is hard enough, so to have a book that literally talks about the good, the bad and the ugly, makes you feel like you arnt alone on this roller coaster journey.
I was one of the first to have a baby in my circle of friends that i went to school and college with. Whilst they had just finished university and starting there careers, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant two weeks before my 23rd birthday. Why I don't regret my decision to have my baby, I'd be lieing if I said there weren't days where I missed my old life and envied the things my fiends had achieved.
Whilst they were out in flashy cocktail bars and living it up at a foam party's in Ibiza, I was at home, most of the time alone due to my now husbands job, changing nappies, doing night feeds , playing peekaboo, and watching bloody baby TV whilst covered in baby sick. In those early days of motherhood and even now, I could have done with a book like the unmumsy mums. I felt so much guilt for missing my old life, for being envious of my friends. It didn't mean I didn't love my baby or I didn't enjoy my life, it's a normal way to feel. Motherhood is not easy or for the faint hearted and boy of boy did I discover this when I was blessed with... A boy!
Charlie was and is a whole different ball game to Elise. Colic, constipation, non sleeping, Crying baby who wanted to be held 24-7. Of course like all stages it didn't last long. But now we have hit the toddler years and oh my life am I kept on my toes. As Sarah is a mother of boys and who struggled with similar issues with her boys as Charlie, it was so nice to hear another mother feeling and thinking the way I felt. No one will admit that they think there child is being a little arsehole or a little demon who you feel is on this earth just to make your life difficult because, if we did, doesn't that make us terrible mothers!?!? The answer is no. Why my son may drive me to the brink of despair and his tantrums could rival tyra bank's diva moments, he is one my greatest achievements and blessings in my life along with his older sister.
Having days where you haven't fed your children any fruit or veg and had CBeebies on ALL FRICKING DAY just so you can have a hot cup of tea in peace or finish that last chapter in your book, or so that you can simply wipe those sticky handprints of your kitchen cupboards does NOT make you a bad mother. We all have days where we just need some peace and a break, and I am yet to meet a mother who hasn't felt this way. If she says she doesn't, she my friends is either lieing to you or herself and making herself feel like she has to enjoy every single second! The truth is you don't.
Sarah hits the nail on the head in one of her last chapters. Just because you complain or moan doesn't mean you arnt greatfull or know how lucky you are. As she says in the book you chose your job so does that mean you can't ever complain about having a bad day?!? Why some of us may or may not of made the decision to start a family at a particular point in our lives, you are still entitled to have days where you feel it's all abit s*%t and you feel like throwing the towel in and feeling that motherhood isn't quite for you.
On those days I would advise calling a friend or family member and rant! Rant and rant and rant some more! Then crack open a bottle of something strong , stick something on the TV and chill! You made it through the day and tomorrow is a new one. Sarah's book has made me feel like I am not alone and no longer feel guilty about how I feel at times. I have been blogging myself for a little while and the posts I get the most feedback from, are my open and honest posts about life and motherhood. People like honesty! We're all doing our best and instead of slating and judging each other, we should be giving each other a pat on the back and say "well done you made it through the day".
Why I have many many years of parenting milestones ahead of me and I'm sure I have seen nothing yet, I will deal with what ever life throws at me knowing I'm not alone in how I feel and know I'm doing the best I can.
Thank you Sarah for bringing this book to life and not only will I continue to follow your blog and future books ( as im sure there has to be) you have made me realise it's okay to be honest and people like honesty and that's what I will make an effort to do through my blog!
Thank you for reading
Natasha x
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