Bye Bye Bump

With just a week or so to go (hopefully) until baby girl makes her debut, I've started to look back and reflect on what is my last pregnancy. I am very much a never say never kind of girl, but I am pretty sure I will not be having anymore children. Of course no one knows what the future holds, but for me three children has always been my dream and my magic number.

I grew up with two brothers and as much as I hated it at times, mainly during my teen years when lets face it you hate everything and everyone at some point...hormones hey! I really enjoyed growing up in a big-ish family. To me being a family of five is a big family but not too big. We can still have your average car and live comfortably in a standard family house, so as much as I would like to keep popping babies out and give the Radford family a run for their money, I need to be realistic and for the sort of life I want to be able to provide for my children and the opportunity's I want to be able to give them, having anymore ( for us personally) would be to much of a stretch. That being said if I ever happen to win the euro millions it would be a game changer and another baby could be on the cards!

So with this pregnancy knowing it was to be my last I have tried my best to enjoy and cherish it, well as much as you can when you are vomiting several times a day and feeling so exhausted that just getting up to pee requires all your energy. But joking aside it hasn't been that terrible and I have had periods where I have felt so well and full of energy and really been able to embrace my bump and enjoy it. I wanted to remember this pregnancy with fond memories, so we announced with a big poster held by the children, found out the gender at home which you can watch here, and made each pregnancy milestone as memorable as possible. I've made it no secret that I suffered with my mental health during my second pregnancy. I always felt I had been robbed of my experience and it really affected me. So going in to this pregnancy in a good head space and armed with the tools to cope should my anxiety rear its ugly head, I wanted to capture, document and embrace every part of it, the good, the bad and the ugly.

I savoured every little kick and movement I felt, enjoyed watching you at the scans, I have embraced my growing and forever changing body and taken all the bump photos I could. Its been lovely to share my experiences on my social media platforms which I know has helped and supported lots of you and its another reason why I have shared my pregnancy journey. I know all to well that it can feel overwhelming and isolating so to share my thoughts and feelings no matter bad or good has been just as helpful for me as it has for those of you who get in touch thanking me for being so open and honest.

Although I feel pretty huge now and tired and uncomfortable, I look back on this pregnancy and see it as a positive experience. I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed that my body has been able to carry another child and I still feel I need to pinch myself a little knowing she is a girl! Ever since I can remember I have always wanted three children, 2 girls and a boy and knowing that's what I'm going to have makes me feel so incredibly lucky. Its been quite a journey to get to this point in my life where I finally feel happy, confident and content with who I am and in control of my mental health. There was a time I never thought I would have anther baby for the fear of going through the same experience again. But with a lot of hard work and support I have managed to rebuild myself and I feel like I am stronger than ever.

Saying goodbye to my bump is very bittersweet. There is nothing quite like feeling your baby wriggle inside you and watch your body change and adapt to grow this little life inside you. But I am so ready to meet this little lady and discover who and what she will be. I am ready, well as ready as I will ever be! to face the challenges that being a mum of three will bring.