So here we are! Seven weeks in being a mum three and its been an eventful juggling act that I'm still learning day by day. But truth be told isn't that the case regardless of how many children you have?
Going from two to three children has been easier than I thought in some respects and so much harder in others. I'm pretty to use to juggling my time between multiple children. So for me personally Olivia has slotted in to our daily routines. She is another month to feed, to clothe and bath. She has just had to fit on the conveyor belt of day to day life and move along with us. She hasn't really had a choice. Just as Charlie had too when he came along, Olivia has started to fit in along side her older siblings and day by day she is adapting to this new routine.
Of course babies are unpredictable and no two days are the same. I find it incredibly hard when all three of them need me for something or when they kick off one by one like a Mexican wave effect , and just when I settle one the next one is already revving up to have their moment. The best moments however (sense the sarcasm) are when they come together as a group and all scream, cry and demand my attention. This I find hard, after all I am one person with two hands and three children, it doesn't add up does it?!?
Throw in the fact that I am flying solo the majority of the time now. ( thank you military life style) it makes for even harder work. I don't have the luxury of my husband walking through the door every evening to help with bath and bedtime or to give me five minutes to myself. You know the sort of minutes to yourself where you can actually be alone and hear yourself think? where its calm and quiet and you haven't had to lock yourself in the downstairs loo and stick your fingers in your ears to get it! good times!
I think on a personal and some may say selfish level I have found the lack of " me time" difficult. They say you don't know what you had until its gone and boy is that true. Its only since having Olivia I realised how my life was starting to get just a little bit easier. My kids slept all night, were in a good routine. I got a couple of days to myself a week and I knew once they were in bed , aside from the odd bad night or when illness struck my evenings were mine. I didn't realise how much I took that time for granted or how much I needed it to stay sane.
I have felt very overwhelmed, stressed and emotional over these weeks and at times have felt I'm not being the best mum I can or want to be. But knowledge is power and I know these days wont last forever and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I will get back my evenings and my me time. For now I just have to grab five minutes where I can, make full use of the husband when he is home so I can escape for five minutes for a bubble bath. But most importantly soak in all the baby cuddles and head sniffs because she will be all grown up and starting school before i know it.
I know there are many women in a similar situation or worse than myself and I salute you all. Its hard. But its not all bad. There are moments when the older two are cooing over their baby sister or Olivia gives the cutest gummy smile at 4am, when she snuggles on my chest and when I see all three of them together, those are the moments that remind me why having three is wonderful and hectic all at the same time and that I am doing an okay job.
Its okay to not enjoy every second and its okay to feel like you just need a minute to breathe. I tell myself daily I'm doing my best, and if my best that day was feeding the kids a McDonald's drive thru for tea, the baby missing her bath and my hair got another coating of dry shampoo because I didn't have time to wash it ( again) they have gone to bed happy and know they are loved, then I've done alright and its a mum win in my eyes!
Lots of love to any mums out there who are in the new-born haze... hang in there your doing fab!
Natasha x
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