This week is Mental health awareness week. Mental Health is something that I have and struggled with and something I have talked quite openly about here on my little space on the big world wide web.
Ive made it no secret my struggles with anxiety and mild depression. For me anxiety has always been the thing I have struggled with the most, but more recently the low moods have reared its ugly head.
Since having my third baby I have struggled a little with finding me again. Before I fell pregnant I had finally after so many years got to a place where I felt happy. truly happy! I felt comfortable in my own skin, I managed my time well so that I could have my me time and anything life threw at me I could handle. I felt my most confident when pregnant. I enjoyed showing off my growing bump and took it easy and made the most of what would be my final pregnancy.Any worrying thoughts that I did have, I could handle.
Fast forward and now raising three children three months in, Im not okay! I am not as bad as I have been but I know something isn't right. I have a short temper, I feel very lonely and my self esteem is at an all time low. I avoid going to social situations that previously I couldn't wait to go too. I feel distant from friends and family, through no ones fault really, its just how I'm feeling. I feel I am not the most interesting or fun person to be around at the moment and I don't want to bring anyone down with my mood. Sadly I know the root cause and its something I have no control over. So I need to address and deal with the things I can control.
Having struggled with periods of mental health has its perks, I know when things are taking a turn! Thats why I'm grabbing the bull by the horns so to speak and getting a handle on it before I loose control. I am making lifestyle changes to feel happier about myself. As cheesy as it sounds, happiness starts from within. If you are not happy with yourself, nothing and no one can make you happy. As mums we are renowned for putting our needs and happiness last, but the truth is we are just as important if not more. Us mums are like ships, the captain if you like. All the time we are floating and bobbing along the crew are too. Our happy state. Once we start to loose our way and everything gets too much we start to sink, and if we sink they all sink! So we have to prioritise ourselves so that the rest of the ship (family) can stay a float too.
Admitting that you are not okay isn't shameful , its actually quite courageous. To acknowledge something isn't quite right and taking the steps to make a change is something to be applauded. Be it that you make an appointment to see your GP if you are really struggling, asking a friend to meet you for a coffee, buying yourself a new outfit too boost your confidence, taking control of you life and making healthier choices or finding a new a hobby, it takes a lot for someone who is struggling to do these things, so if you achieve any of the above, I'm here cheering you on and saying well done!
It WILL get better and you WILL overcome this. These dark days won't last forever and it is important to reach out and speak to someone if you are struggling. I have talked abut PANDASUK so often and even had the honour of being interviewed by ITV news with pandas to share my story last year, which you can read and watch here.
Life with three has been quite the adjustment. Easy in some was and hard in others. I have always dreamt of having three children, two girls and a boy and I know how incredibly lucky I am to have been blessed with them. But its still okay that I feel the way I do and to not love every second of it. It doesn't mean I am ungrateful, it doesn't mean I don't love my children and it doesn't mean I'm a bad mum. I am a human, someone who is going through a bit of a tough time and someone who needs to take some time to do a little self care, so that I can be the best version of me, for myself and my family. So make time to read the book, take that bubble bath or trip to the hairdressers. You deserve to do something for you.
If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, please seek help! There is lots of information on the PANDASUK website.
and remember... ITS OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY...YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Natasha x
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