Well its been a while hasn't it?!?
Hello its me! I am back! It feels a bit strange writing this. I have that first blog post nerves, but the timing feels right and I am desperate to get back at it! 2019 has been a wild ride so far and I'm her etc fill you in.
The start of the year saw my little Olivia turn one! Its cliche but that year went by in a. blink of an eye and as hard as those early days were, I am going to miss them as she is my last *sobs * the older two won't stop growing and I will be filling out high school applications forms before I know *sobs again* Rich is on a draft that is giving him more time at home (he is in the military if you are new here) which is great because he has practically been away the last 2 years so its nice to have a partner in crime. Of course there are days I want to launch him out the nearest window because he's left his dirty boxers on the floor or he's forgotten to put the toilet seat down, but its good to have him home.
We then moved to what will likely be our forever home. Something we have longed for and worked towards for years audit finally became a reality. along side getting married and having a baby, moving really is one of the most stressful things you an do. But this house now feels like home, the home we had been so desperate for as living the military life style can be so unpredictable, it feels good to have some stability. Elise moved schools to her brothers school ( to some up Charlie didn't get in to Elise's school along with several other families so we all decided to move the older siblings) luckily a few of her close friends made the move so it made it that little bit easier knowing they were moving too.
In our new home we had a spare room downstairs and I am now working from home as a beauty therapist/lash technician and my business is doing so well. I near thought I would have the confidence to set up my own business as I have always worked for an employer doing that line of work. But I can work around my family, its flexible and I feel like after years of being a stay at home mu, I am now a work from home mum ( along side my social media work) and that I have got a piece of me back that got left behind a few year ago.
Now the bit I am going to just glaze over. I was. made aware of some not great things said about me online which to put it bluntly..felt sh$t. It turns out there are people who spend their days and precious free time watching people they love to hate, and follow thats watching with documenting what they have watched so that other like minded individuals can comment and write about the people they too love to watch to hate! As a mother of three and a women in her early thirties this concept was baffling to me and difficult to comprehend and it all came at a time where I was struggling a lot in my private life.
People assume that because people like myself put themselves out there, share snippets of their lives and invite you in to our world that we are fair game to pounce on. Pick apart as if we were a plate of inedible food. I suppose we are to expect a certain level of "constructive criticism" but these comments are anything but constructive. I got off lightly compared to some, but adding those comments to the thoughts that were already swirling round in my head, sent me over the edge and i was done! So I pulled the plug. I can't tell you how good my time off was It really changed me and my perception of this online world I am apart of and I am now at a place where I feel confident enough to come back on and get back at it.
I started my blog and social media as a lonely mum suffering with anxiety, at times so badly I couldn't even leave my home. I kept it a secret from friends and family, for the fear of judgment. I spent my days wondering if anyone else felt like me, or if I was all alone in how I felt. I started to feel brave and little by little as I opened up more and more people who pop up and say, yes I feel that way too!
Knowing what I was feeling was normal, well as normal as it can be filled me with hope. Hope that one day I may overcome this and I said to myself that when I did I would try and give something back.
So I like to think my presence online is a positive one. To show other mums its okay no to be the perfect parent, to share tips and ideas to new mums or mums in the same boat as me and as an example that with the right help and support you can come the other side of anxiety and depression and find yourself again. Of course I still get my bad days, but I am armed with the tools and support to help me through.
So if you are reading this and haven written a bad word about someone online or thinking about it, remember that your words are powerful, so use them wisely!
It feels good to have my fingertips tapping away at the keyboard and I can't wait t share all the content I have lined up. If you are a long time follower of mine, thank you for sticking by me and if you are new, welcome! I hope you like it here.
Natasha x
* all previous posts on mental health can be found under my mental health tab on my home page
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